I should be in Montana. I should be in a classroom of my own in the back corner of the high school, getting to know my students and preparing them for the year ahead. I should be taking Jax on hikes in Gallatin Valley and enjoying bison burgers in Yellowstone. I should be working on a series of photographs of the people and the land, a series I had planned in my head months ago. I should be learning the lay of the land and collecting permits to organize one-to-one workshops as I have long dreamed of doing. I should be … but I’m not.
I am Cody Schultz, writing to you, for the first time in many months, from a place that no longer feels like home. If this place, this so-called Explorations, no longer feels like home to you, feel free to escape at any time.
I spent an entire summer’s worth of effort and money and time dedicated to something that didn’t work out. Not the end of the world, but finding that out after traveling 2000 miles with all of your belongings and a 65lb dog simply isn’t ideal. Especially when it means turning right back around; especially when it means returning to a place that so quickly stopped feeling like “home”; especially when it means all aspects of your life — and your bank account — grind down to zero.
I have my reasons for making this decision. Those who need to know, know — even if they don’t truly understand. I do, and I have come to accept it.
So, I am back in Pennsylvania, at least for the time being. A place I have long yearned to escape, and almost did.
I don’t remember the last time I sat on the front porch — to write, to read, to breathe. It’s been a few months, at least. The weather is fine, though a bit muggy for my taste. I yearn for the cool days of autumn. Soon…
Three weeks have passed since I returned to my home state. The majority of my belongings remain boxed up in the garage. A part of me is scared (is that the right word?) to do anything with them. For, if I unpack, that means I am stuck here. Fallible logic, I know.
I suppose I don’t want to admit to myself that this is my reality — that I cam so close to achieving a long-held dream, had it within my grasp, only to watch it pass like fine sand through an hourglass. If I return my books to their shelves and clothes to their hangers and games to their table, I succumb to defeat. Three years’ worth of trying for a teaching job, just to give it up. Even my own recognition of the harshness of these thoughts does not abate them.
By week’s end, the boxes will return to my area of the house and slowly be unpacked, broken down, set aside for my next attempt at escape. I will find some way to make money, and I will watch as my bank accounts gradually recover. I will experience the end of my 28th rotation around the sun not in the wilds of the west but with family in the overpopulated east. And with each passing day, I will gain a clearer picture of what is to come.
New Photographs
I don’t recall when my website was last updated. Less than a year, more than three months. I’ve been creating, little by little — I just haven’t cared to do much with what I’ve made. Something in my life — in all aspects of my life — shifted after my trip to Japan last year.
Still, I suppose there is enough new work worth sharing, with the caveat that my galleries needed some rearranging. I’ll include three of the new photographs for each of these galleries, below. There may be more, or they may have already been seen. That’s for me to not know and you to maybe find out.
Japonisme
Memento Mori
Landscape
New Topographics
Portraiture
New Offerings
Also new to my website is a page titled Offerings. Sparse though it may be, this page is designed to host information regarding online image reviews, one-to-one workshops, and talks / presentations. These are all things I have long wanted to offer but never have, mostly out of fear of rejection. As in: Your prices are too high; You don’t have enough experience for this; etc.
The last one in particular touches a nerve; I have heard the phrase, in various capacities, almost endlessly in the past three years. Maybe they have a point, in the world of traditional education, but at least with photography, I have twelve years behind the camera to prove I know…something. Whether that something is worth sharing is an entirely different point.
The one-to-one workshops will likely go live sometime in the late fall or early spring. Although I am intimately familiar with Eastern Pennsylvania, thinking about places being worthwhile for my photography versus being worthwhile for teaching is entirely novel to me. I have my ideas, but more field research is necessary. There’s also the matter of proper permits and licensing. My bank accounts may be nearing zero, but that doesn’t mean I want to deal with a lawsuit cuz someone broke their ankle “tripping on my tripod.”
Then there’s the “talks” offering. As in, Starting the Conversation: A Walk with Mental Health. I presented this twice last year, and then…. Well, it desperately needs reworking. Updates to the personal narrative, add elements to back up what I’m saying, swap out the photographs, etc. I had begun this process back in March, but I didn’t get very far before…. So, here I am, professing that I will try again.
In my head, this shouldn’t take longer than a few weeks; realistically, I’m giving myself until November — the fifth day of — to get it done. My hope is to present this monthly from then on, at least until people get sick of it and I craft a new talk. Time will tell.
Thoughts on AI
I’m already sick of this conversaton, and all I have written on it so far is the header.
Artificial intelligence is spewing from everyone’s mouth like week-old clams from the local diner in Nebraska. It’s the latest “hot button topic”, the way to get easy clicks and fast attention. In the art world, everyone hates it; in technology, everyone loves it; and in business, everyone sucks it dry and demands for more. Every software company crams it down our throats and up our asses, wondering all the way why the general public is already so tired of it, why everyone isn’t head-over-heels about it.
I have my own thoughts, of course, which fluctuate daily. At the moment, I am neither for nor against it. As a writer and educator, I believe these systems have their uses — damn good ones. But as an artist and nature lover, I deeply fear for the unforeseen consequences of the rapid growth we are experiencing. And that’s the rub.
Half of me feels that the use of AI systems is assisting in the destruction of the world — both natural and societal. The other half feels that I “need” to learn how these systems work, if only to better prepare future generations.
The unfortunate reality is this: Whether you like it or not, AI is here to stay. Just like any new technology, there are growing pains. Some may say these are worse than any other — I’ll point you to the atomic bomb. Others will say this is the only way we evolve as a collective — I’ll point you to the countless examples of illiteracy and dependency we are already witnessing. Whichever side you stand on, I urge you not to join the popular trend in your social feed. Do your own research. Decide for yourself how you feel.
Yes, I have used Claude extensively since March. No, it will never touch my writing or my photography. As a research aide — especially for my endless job search; especially for personalized information — there is nothing like it. To me, that is what it does best. Will I continue to play around with it? Will I utilize it in my future classroom? Likely, yes. But I will also rally against the mass data centers, and I will also kvetch any time I open Photoshop and see yet another “feature” they’ve implemented in the pursuit of creative destruction.
— C